Sunday, March 1, 2009

FREE CLOTHES

Dear Emi:

I want to tell you about my worst self. Actually, about the "worst self" of every New York City woman who likes expensive clothes.

Every year, in a warehouse in Chelsea, women drag giant plastic bags of designer clothes around on the floor, grabbing everything single things they can (one size up or down? NO PROBLEM), stripping down to their bras and underpants in a wall-less, unisex room, with a crazed look in their eyes. It is called the Barney's Warehouse Sale. Which essentially means free clothes. My shopping partner and dear friend tried to remind me that "these clothes aren't free, they are just really cheap" to which I simply snarled. No words, just a low growl that I had never heard come out of my mouth ever before.

This is how I came to stand in public wearing nothing but socks, wonder woman undies and a mismatch bra and scream at my dear friend Seth (who proved his loyalty and devotion by being there in the first place) to GET THOSE JEANS, NO THOSE JEANS. THE FIFTEEN DOLLAR ACNE ONES. And then lapse into silent rage.... get them now. Seth, the dear, tried to remind me that "these clothes aren't free, they are just really cheap" while I was digging through the knitwear--to which I simply snarled. No words, just a low growl that I had never heard come out of my mouth ever before.

It is the Where the Wild Things Are of shopping. It is Mardi Gras and Carnival and the Fourth of July, but crueler and without music and dance or barbeque. It is the kind of place where you walk out sweating and with your hair messed up and with five (!) pairs (!) of designer denim, two pairs of shoes and five shirts, only 250 USD poorer for it. Because, Emi, you were in the trenches. And in your secret heart, you know that if the real depression comes, you might have to sell apples, but youwill sell those apples in cute ass clothes.

And no one will ever know, as you strut to work in new Costume National heels, a Nanette Lepore cardigan and your new Acne jeans that securing them meant you no longer have any pride or shame. But you look so damn cute, you really don't care at all, not one damn bit. You'd do it again tomorrow if you weren't still recovering from it all. In fact, you really just want to holler your new mantra at anyone who might know the truth:

FREE CLOTHES.

39 comments:

Anonymous said...

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Anonymous said...

If you can not be kind, at least have the decency to be vague.............................................

Anonymous said...

學問好比腸胃裡的食物,裝下多少並不重要,吸收多少才重要。......................................................

Anonymous said...

好文不寂寞~支持!!!!@@a 搞錯了,這不是論壇推文 XDDD.........................

Anonymous said...

想跟你說一聲加油,祝福大家每天開心........................................

Anonymous said...

A liar is not believed when he speaks the truth. .........................................

Anonymous said...

nice to know you, and glad to find such a good artical!.........................

Anonymous said...

感謝予我如此動感的blog!.........................

Anonymous said...

不要把生命看得太嚴肅,反正我們不會活著離開。.........................

Anonymous said...

臨淵羨魚,不如退而結網。 ..................................................

Anonymous said...

婚姻對男人來說是賭他的自由,對女人而言卻是賭她的幸福。 ..................................................

Anonymous said...

Many a true word is spoken in jest.............................................................

Anonymous said...

呵。。。。好可愛~~..................................................

慈佐 said...

失去金錢的人,失去很多;失去朋友的人,失去更多;失去信心的人,失去所有。.................................................................

Anonymous said...

Where did you purchase this product?.................................................................

Anonymous said...

幸福不是一切,人還有責任。.................................................................                           

Anonymous said...

Poverty is stranger to industry.................................................................

Anonymous said...

卡爾.桑得柏:「除非先有夢,否則一切皆不成。」共勉!............................................................

Anonymous said...

It takes all kinds to make a world.............................................................

Anonymous said...

人生是故事的創造與遺忘。............................................................

Anonymous said...

人因夢想而偉大,要堅持自己的理想哦..................................................................

Anonymous said...

河水永遠是相同的,可是每一剎那又都是新的。

Anonymous said...

世間唯一永恆的,就是改變..................................................

Anonymous said...

有深道,要慢慢感受~~^^ 加油......................................................

Anonymous said...

faith will move mountains. ..................................................

Anonymous said...

Judge not a book by its cover.............................................................

Anonymous said...

缺少智慧,就是缺少一切..................................................

敬周喜 said...

永遠支持你呀!!HO!!HO!!HO!!HO!!~~..................................................................

敬周喜 said...

做些小善事,說些愛的字句,世界更快樂。..................................................

Anonymous said...

人生像一杯茶,若一飲而盡,會提早見到杯底..................................................

Anonymous said...

相見亦無事,不來常思君......................................................................

于庭吳 said...

很棒的分享~祝福你............................................................

Anonymous said...

若有人問你成功時會不會記得他 試問若你失敗時他會不會記得你......................................................................

Anonymous said...

人生是故事的創造與遺忘。............................................................

Anonymous said...

困難的不在於新概念,而在於逃避舊有的概念。......................................................................

Anonymous said...

想跟你說一聲加油,祝福大家每天開心............................................................

Anonymous said...

你不能左右天氣,但你可以改變心情............................................................

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